Hanssie: In The In Between ~ A Kiss & Tell About The Journey Of A Suddenly Single Gal In Life, Love & Photography »

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Hanssie: In The In Between ~ A Kiss & Tell About The Journey Of A Suddenly Single Gal In Life, Love & Photography bio picture
  • Hanssie: Photographer, Mama, Diva, Single Gal, Shopaholic, Control Freak, Gym Rat, Cynic, Socialite, Daughter, Friend, Marketer, Asian, Consultant, Party Animal, Pescatarian, Grammar Fiend, The Queen of Everything.

    Labels. No matter how much we want to shy away from them, it’s a way of life. Collectively, they help us define who we are and separately, they each contain a snippet of a facet of our lives and personalities.

    When I first started my photography business, my logo was hanssie trainor: photography. Even back then I knew I could not be contained under one label, hence the colon. (The colon is used before a list or an explanation that is preceded by a clause that can stand by itself) and I knew that photography was just one thing that defined who I was. And now after 3+ years in the business, I’ve evolved and come full circle, back to using the colon to help define who I am – a multi faceted, ever changing person, that wears many hats and has many life experiences.

    This blog has always been about my life but with a focus on my photography, but now, there will be a shift to focus more on my journey in the "IN BETWEEN" from my former life as a wife and mother to life as a single gal and single mom living life passionately under my own terms with photography thrown in as well. I'm just a girl trying to figure things out and deal with baggage and confusion in the dating world. I'm putting it all out there --the good, the bad and the ugly. I hope you’ll join me for the ride.

    I'm kissing a lot of frogs..and blogging about it.

    (P.S. Yes, I am still commissioning for fashion/editorial work and for weddings/ portraits)

    ♥♥♥Hanssie♥♥♥♥
    951.264.1710

    "A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous." Coco Chanel

I Hate You, Technology

So, as you might have noticed, I haven’t blogged in a while. That is not for lack of trying.

Something is wrong with my blog and it won’t let me load any photos, so while I have been trying to post some photo centric stuff, I am unable to…and since I just posted a few rants, I figure I should spare you the soapbox for a bit.

Except for this post. Where I want to not only rant about WordPress, but I want to throw my laptop out the window. The laptop that killed it’s power cord, suddenly turns off in the middle of tasks and the one that will take 5 days at the Genius Bar to “maybe” fix. UGH.

I may have to revert back to ravens.

My One Piece of Advice for Parents

I know I’ve used this image before but wordpress is giving me issues

What do I want to be when I grow up?

People started asking me that question when I was 6 years old…and 30 years later, I still don’t really know the answer. I spent the better part of my college years flitting from major to major, finally graduating without a clue what I wanted to do with my religion degree. I started teaching because, well, “those who can’t, teach”…or whatever right? In my case, it was “those that have no idea what to do with their lives and need to make money and can’t be stuck at a temp agency punching a time clock, while waiting to get married so I guess I should go back to school and get my credential and teach” instances. And so, I was stuck in the education field for the next 16 years. But I digress.

And one sentence a book does not make.

Though one sentence is sufficient for a blog post, so here we go…my one piece of advice I would give any parent is this:

Teach your children that the world DOES NOT revolve around them…therefore, do not make your kids the center of your universe.

I know. It’s not earth shattering. It’s not some new knowledge that is profound. It is a basic principle that people preach, but don’t practice.

It’s okay to say no to your child. They are not going to grow up needing therapy if you give them some boundaries.

There is a phenomenon called the “terrible twos.” I’ve been warned about it, never really experienced it. See, I only have one child and I know each child has their own temperament. Some are more, way more difficult to deal with than another. But what I do know is that one thing I did was resolve that, as I was the adult, I was in charge. There were just things that were not tolerated. Tantrums being one of them. Tantrums were dealt with swiftly and without anger or frustration. I think that might be a mistake that lots of parents make (and trust me, I’ve made the same mistake a time or two or twenty five thousand): they discipline their child in anger. They let little Johnny whine and beg for a toy at the store and the parent says no. Then the child does it again. But because no doesn’t necessarily mean no, the child has learned to continue to whine and beg. This time louder. Then, “I‘m warning you Johnny…I’m gonna count to three….”

Now you are giving your kid three chances to lower the volume a bit before trying again. This time with some feet stomping added in for dramatic effect. And so you, the parent sighs and says, “No dessert if you keep this up.” Right. Like your kid believes you. He starts getting louder, adding the feet stomps and the screaming until you start feeling your blood pressure rise. “Stop it right now!” You say as your voice raises. Johnny throws his body on the ground, kicking and screaming until you, embarrassingly, threaten, cajole, and eventually give in to the little negotiator and he gets his toy, just so you can shut him up in the middle of Wal-mart. Johnny has come to the understanding that he can get whatever he wants 9 out of ten times with this method, deal with some momentary wrath from you and end up with his toy and usually his dessert later on that night.

Give them boundaries. Remember you’re the adult.

Ideal store scenario: Child begs and whines for toy. Parent, having already set the boundaries, says no and the child obeys because they have been taught to obey. They have been taught that disobedience means consequences that are immediate and not meted out of frustration. If the child does try the temper tantrum route in the middle of Wal-mart, make sure they are disciplined. Immediate time out or a quick spank in the restroom (and no I don’t need to hear your ideas on spanking, this isn’t a debate. It could be another blog post I guess). I’ve always found it effective to have the Kidlet look me in the eye, I say, “Look me in the eyes” and then I sternly tell her no. And she was taught that my no, meant no.

But what do I know? I only have one kid. And only one piece of parenting advice.

Do with it what you will.

 

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Debbie Richardson - May 6, 2014 - 10:47 am

I totally agree. I think most parents lack follow through. They make threats they have no intention of following through on, and children know that.
I would say my one piece of parenting advice that I share is that children need to learn from the start that every choice they make has a consequence. I am not responsible for their time out, it was their choice to throw a temper tantrum that got them sent to their room. Choice may actually have been my most used word as my three grew up. I think this teaches them from early on that they are responsible for their lives and their choices. I don’t claim to be an expert, but I can honestly say that I have raised three adults that I actually enjoy spending time with – and along the way, their coaches and bosses have liked them as well.

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