Hanssie: In The In Between ~ A Kiss & Tell About The Journey Of A Suddenly Single Gal In Life, Love & Photography »

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Hanssie: In The In Between ~ A Kiss & Tell About The Journey Of A Suddenly Single Gal In Life, Love & Photography bio picture
  • Hanssie: Photographer, Mama, Diva, Single Gal, Shopaholic, Control Freak, Gym Rat, Cynic, Socialite, Daughter, Friend, Marketer, Asian, Consultant, Party Animal, Pescatarian, Grammar Fiend, The Queen of Everything.

    Labels. No matter how much we want to shy away from them, it’s a way of life. Collectively, they help us define who we are and separately, they each contain a snippet of a facet of our lives and personalities.

    When I first started my photography business, my logo was hanssie trainor: photography. Even back then I knew I could not be contained under one label, hence the colon. (The colon is used before a list or an explanation that is preceded by a clause that can stand by itself) and I knew that photography was just one thing that defined who I was. And now after 3+ years in the business, I’ve evolved and come full circle, back to using the colon to help define who I am – a multi faceted, ever changing person, that wears many hats and has many life experiences.

    This blog has always been about my life but with a focus on my photography, but now, there will be a shift to focus more on my journey in the "IN BETWEEN" from my former life as a wife and mother to life as a single gal and single mom living life passionately under my own terms with photography thrown in as well. I'm just a girl trying to figure things out and deal with baggage and confusion in the dating world. I'm putting it all out there --the good, the bad and the ugly. I hope you’ll join me for the ride.

    I'm kissing a lot of frogs..and blogging about it.

    (P.S. Yes, I am still commissioning for fashion/editorial work and for weddings/ portraits)


    "A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous." Coco Chanel

Freelance Day 1 – WTF Did I Just Do??!

I woke up yesterday morning excited, which quickly turned to worry and stress. Questions like, okay, sooo, I have no steady paycheck coming in, how am I going to make enough money to live? I have mouths to feed, bills to pay, what am I gonna do with my life??? What if I run out of money?? After a minor freak out moment…a moment lasting about 2 hours of debate, frustration and pressure, pressure, pressure, I took the Kidlet to her Thursday classes, did a load of laundry, cleaned up dog vomit in the back seat of my car and sat down to eat lunch.

And I realized how grateful I was to sit and eat and then leisurely clean the kitchen, take care of a sick dog, fold towels and underwear and just breathe…

What’s gonna happen tomorrow? I don’t know, but for today, I am happy to have the time to do the little mundane tasks that got neglected while I was working full time.

As Scarlett O’Hara says, “I’ll think about it tomorrow…”

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings

When I was 20 years old, fresh out of college, I had a temp job in an office of a paint company. Every day from 9am to 5pm I would sit and input stuff on spreadsheets, type things up, do odds and ends and felt my soul slowly being sucked out of me as I died a little every day I punched the time card. I got out as quickly as I could and started substitute teaching. Then went back to school to get my credential and again, found myself on lockdown. Now, mind you, I now had more freedom to be creative and each day was different, but I was required to be somewhere from 7am to 4pm every single day. And I hated it.

I quit for 2 years to have the Kidlet and the first year was pretty awesome. I was off work for about 5 months while pregnant and I read every day, I learned how to cook some basic meals, and hung out with friends. Then I got bored. So  I joined just about every church Bible study they had available. And the choir.Until I was forced to get a job.

I worked at a charter school and while it had much freedom, I was there for 7 years. At year 2.5, I felt the familiar itch to leave from boredom and wanting something new. The job itself was pretty great. I worked maybe 3-5 hours a week from home and once a month I went to visit homeschool families. Plus it gave me time to shoot weddings on the weekends and raise my kidlet. So one week in every month, I was crazy busy. That happened for about 5 years. And then I joined a choir. (Sound familiar?) Then the last 2 years, the demands got greater, I was having a hard time homeschooling my own kid and I was working 3 other jobs trying to find an outlet for my need to create). Then In the middle of that, I left my husband and for the first time was taking care of myself and a little one alone. And I was lost.

6 months ago, I left the education world altogether and came to work for SLR Lounge. Finally, a place where I can create, but the job came with a cost. I had to work from an office. The first month was incredibly stressful. I had a new, very needy dog, the Kidlet and was moving. Things calm down as I got some help, but I found myself crying all the time. At work. At home. I felt like I was letting my daughter be raised by someone else. And for me, that was not okay. I needed my freedom. Each day as I sat in my office and got photos from my daughter at field trips, I started feeling more and more stress and pressure. And I started wanting to create music again, but there was no choir to join this time, haha.

So I made a scary decision. I decided that I needed to go freelance. (Before everyone freaks out, I’m still doing the same job at SLR Lounge, just not in the office and not full time.  For the first time I was working without a safety net – as in not a secured set amount monthly paycheck. I’m not as scared as I feel like I should be about this, but I do feel like the cage has been open and I am able to fly again – I have a job that I love, keeps me creating and working with awesome people AND I get to be home with my Kidlet and whiny, needy rescue dog. How much more perfect can that get??

My dichotomy has always been this – my type A personality needs security and my creative spirit needs freedom. For the first time ever, the creative spirit won out. We shall see what happens next.

Thanks for being a part of my journey. (Sorry for no pictures yet….).

Till next time,


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