Hanssie: In The In Between ~ A Kiss & Tell About The Journey Of A Suddenly Single Gal In Life, Love & Photography »

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Hanssie: In The In Between ~ A Kiss & Tell About The Journey Of A Suddenly Single Gal In Life, Love & Photography bio picture
  • Hanssie: Photographer, Mama, Diva, Single Gal, Shopaholic, Control Freak, Gym Rat, Cynic, Socialite, Daughter, Friend, Marketer, Asian, Consultant, Party Animal, Pescatarian, Grammar Fiend, The Queen of Everything.

    Labels. No matter how much we want to shy away from them, it’s a way of life. Collectively, they help us define who we are and separately, they each contain a snippet of a facet of our lives and personalities.

    When I first started my photography business, my logo was hanssie trainor: photography. Even back then I knew I could not be contained under one label, hence the colon. (The colon is used before a list or an explanation that is preceded by a clause that can stand by itself) and I knew that photography was just one thing that defined who I was. And now after 3+ years in the business, I’ve evolved and come full circle, back to using the colon to help define who I am – a multi faceted, ever changing person, that wears many hats and has many life experiences.

    This blog has always been about my life but with a focus on my photography, but now, there will be a shift to focus more on my journey in the "IN BETWEEN" from my former life as a wife and mother to life as a single gal and single mom living life passionately under my own terms with photography thrown in as well. I'm just a girl trying to figure things out and deal with baggage and confusion in the dating world. I'm putting it all out there --the good, the bad and the ugly. I hope you’ll join me for the ride.

    I'm kissing a lot of frogs..and blogging about it.

    (P.S. Yes, I am still commissioning for fashion/editorial work and for weddings/ portraits)

    ♥♥♥Hanssie♥♥♥♥
    951.264.1710

    "A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous." Coco Chanel

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings

When I was 20 years old, fresh out of college, I had a temp job in an office of a paint company. Every day from 9am to 5pm I would sit and input stuff on spreadsheets, type things up, do odds and ends and felt my soul slowly being sucked out of me as I died a little every day I punched the time card. I got out as quickly as I could and started substitute teaching. Then went back to school to get my credential and again, found myself on lockdown. Now, mind you, I now had more freedom to be creative and each day was different, but I was required to be somewhere from 7am to 4pm every single day. And I hated it.

I quit for 2 years to have the Kidlet and the first year was pretty awesome. I was off work for about 5 months while pregnant and I read every day, I learned how to cook some basic meals, and hung out with friends. Then I got bored. So  I joined just about every church Bible study they had available. And the choir.Until I was forced to get a job.

I worked at a charter school and while it had much freedom, I was there for 7 years. At year 2.5, I felt the familiar itch to leave from boredom and wanting something new. The job itself was pretty great. I worked maybe 3-5 hours a week from home and once a month I went to visit homeschool families. Plus it gave me time to shoot weddings on the weekends and raise my kidlet. So one week in every month, I was crazy busy. That happened for about 5 years. And then I joined a choir. (Sound familiar?) Then the last 2 years, the demands got greater, I was having a hard time homeschooling my own kid and I was working 3 other jobs trying to find an outlet for my need to create). Then In the middle of that, I left my husband and for the first time was taking care of myself and a little one alone. And I was lost.

6 months ago, I left the education world altogether and came to work for SLR Lounge. Finally, a place where I can create, but the job came with a cost. I had to work from an office. The first month was incredibly stressful. I had a new, very needy dog, the Kidlet and was moving. Things calm down as I got some help, but I found myself crying all the time. At work. At home. I felt like I was letting my daughter be raised by someone else. And for me, that was not okay. I needed my freedom. Each day as I sat in my office and got photos from my daughter at field trips, I started feeling more and more stress and pressure. And I started wanting to create music again, but there was no choir to join this time, haha.

So I made a scary decision. I decided that I needed to go freelance. (Before everyone freaks out, I’m still doing the same job at SLR Lounge, just not in the office and not full time.  For the first time I was working without a safety net – as in not a secured set amount monthly paycheck. I’m not as scared as I feel like I should be about this, but I do feel like the cage has been open and I am able to fly again – I have a job that I love, keeps me creating and working with awesome people AND I get to be home with my Kidlet and whiny, needy rescue dog. How much more perfect can that get??

My dichotomy has always been this – my type A personality needs security and my creative spirit needs freedom. For the first time ever, the creative spirit won out. We shall see what happens next.

Thanks for being a part of my journey. (Sorry for no pictures yet….).

Till next time,

H

What’s the Cost of Being Kind??

[Since I still can't figure out why this blog won't let me upload pictures, this post is picture-less. But I have something to say and as usual, it's itching to come out of me...]

What’s the cost of being kind?

One of my tasks as Managing Editor of SLR Lounge is to moderate comments on our sites. This means daily sifting through lots and lots of opinions from people hiding behind the screen, which invariably destroys any filter that they may use in real life. And though I am a proponent of saying how you feel about something, standing up for what you believe in and having opinions, I do not condone the people who feel like they can do it by being an a*hole.

Words are powerful. 

It’s cliche, I know. But true. If you have been given the gift of language and the ability to speak, be it a voice online or a voice in person, use it accordingly.

In the photo industry, people feel that it is okay to just tear someone apart for pictures they post. Why? Would you say that to their face? Even if the answer is yes, why?

Oh…that looks Photoshopped. What a terrible picture, you should’ve done this…this and this and it would’ve been soooo much better. This article was useless…and on and on it goes.

Is there a way you can say it nicely? I know, I know, I sound like a mom here, but jeez. It takes just as much effort to be a jerk as it is to be kind. These people are called trolls for a reason.

If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. 

Some days, I deal with some real tools. I don’t know who they are because they are too cowardly to use their real name when they comment. It leaves me shaking my head. And not just in the work world, but even random day to day stuff. I read a book last night called, “Heaven is for Real.” It’s about a little boy who had a near death experience and went to heaven. He came back and told some incredible stories. Is it true? I dunno, who am I to judge if someone’s near death experience is true?  I enjoyed the book, it had some inspirational things I could take away and I am glad I read it. So I decided to put it on my virtual GoodReads bookshelf. (If you don’t know what GoodReads is, it’s for geeky people who love books so much we must have a virtual bookshelf). And as with all things that have any slight religious bent to them, had a large list of comments debating the book. Among the most vocal and jerky comments were people being rude and Bible thumping. (Urgh, don’t get me started on that rant. Been there…). If you didn’t like the book, then say, “I didn’t like the book and here’s why…” Is it absolutely necessary to be an a*hole about it – I read comments where people were mocking the little boy for the color of shirt he was wearing on an interview. Get.a.life.

Just because you are typing something virtually and pretty much anonymously doesn’t give you free reign to just spout off. Some people need to just shut their mouths and use the airspace around them better instead of polluting the world (and the world wide web) around them.

What’s the cost of being kind. Nothing. So, go do it.

**Rant Over**

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