“Want to go to a club?” My 61 year old mom asked me.
If you know my mom at all, she looks 40 and she loves life. So, her asking me to go to a club with an open bar wasn’t a strange enough request for me to warrant even a raised eyebrow. My mom is part of a dance group that gets together a couple times a week, goes on vacations together a few times a year and was throwing a party at a local club for the holidays.
So, that’s when I find myself in the middle of a club (of which I am loathing more and more–the whole club scene that is) and the second tallest person in a sea full of Asians. Ever since I’ve known my mom (that would be all my life), she drinks about a half a glass of diluted wine, gets the Asian flush (where her whole face gets bright red), and is pretty much done for the night. So I fed her some vodka based drink being the evil daughter I am and settled in to babysit her for the night while sipping my Jameson and playing a wallflower while my mom danced with her friends (and was seriously the cutest thing ever).
After a few drinks I figured I’d do some dancing too, since I had on a hot dress and even hotter heels. On a side note, most Asian’s have no rhythm. Before I knew it, a bartender brought me a shot, courtesy of the only white guy in the place (a waiter who worked there). He was tall and cute, but young. He started dancing with me. He actually had rhythm so I danced with him for a while until he grabbed me and kissed me. I pushed him away and said something lame like, “My mom is right there.” (I’m even laughing typing that out right now).
I excused myself to use the restroom and he insisted on walking me and insisted on getting my number. Here is the problem I’ve faced ever since I started in this single gal world: I don’t know how to reject people in a nice way and I don’t know how to say no when asked for my number. (Blog readers, please send me some pointers). So, I gave it to him and he made me take his number down. He then said he’d call me later. Sigh.
The next day he texted me. And my other dilemma is that I am too polite to ignore people. So I typed a very nice “friend zone” response. Then he asked me to hang out. I told him he was very sweet but too young for me. And I told him he lived too far away (It’s true. 400 miles is pretty far).
He texted this response (in it’s absurd entirety. Horrid grammar errors and all): “I understand the situation. I know alot of people that are older than me but arent as mental developed as me. We are just having fun and enjoying ourselves.” (To which I did not respond).
So the next day he tried again. “Come chill with me once more before you go back to so cal. No strings attached I just enjoy hanging out with you. Your like a breath of fresh air in my crazy life.” (I told him thanks but I couldn’t).
So the next day, he tried again. “U didn’t make a mistake by givin me your number (Uh, I beg to differ on that point). Your shy and I see you feel like your getting close to me, It’s understandable your afraid if u hangout with me, you might feel some attachment and you live far away. But if u do get the courage to grab a drink or some food with me, everything going be alright in the end I promise.”
So, he’s mentally developed. He has a crazy life. He has no grasp of third grade grammar. He made all sorts of assumptions and basically said I was a coward. All definite ways to win a girl’s heart.
Moral of the story: When a guy asks for my number and I don’t want to give it out, say no. Now, I just have to figure out a way to do that nicely.