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Dating Rules: Paying Etiquette

Yay rules! Yay dating!

Oh wait. The opposite of both of those.

I’ve been having this discussion lately with a few people about who should pick up the check on a date.

It’s the general consensus that the man should always pay on the first date. A few months ago, I was watching “How I Met Your Mother,” with the roommate and one of the characters was turned off because the woman made no move to pay on the first date. I turned to my roommate and said, “Wait a sec, a girl is supposed to offer to pay on a first date??” The thought had never crossed my mind. I mean, I’ve always watched my dad pick up the bill, no matter what. I just assumed a man pays on the first date (and a good number of them thereafter. And since I haven’t made it past the third date with anyone, I hadn’t needed to cross the bridge). My roommate informed me that I am supposed to at least make a move like I’m fighting for the check. My Hitch says that I am suppose to offer on the third date and if he should decline if he’s a gentleman.

So I figure, I’d better get to the bottom of this before I actually find someone to go past date #3 with.

Internet, am I wrong? Am I too old fashioned? Should I be offering to pay on a first date or the third date or any date? I am of the mindset that the man pays for most dates while he is wooing me. At some point, I, of course would start offering because I would start to feel like a mooch. Or if I initiated the date, I should pay. Maybe I should Google this. Is it on Wiki?

Rules. Rules. and more rules. No wonder I can’t seem to master this dating thing.

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Shaina - December 31, 2012 - 10:39 am

I think it should be who made the plans for the date…. IE: If I asked him, I would gladly pay(although I wouldn’t ask or make plans, unless we had been together past the “first dates”)

So I guess that wouldn’t help this situation, but if a man wasn’t willing to pay or gets turned off by the fact that I didn’t reach for the bill then we aren’t ment for each other.

Katie - December 28, 2012 - 10:46 am

Hmmm. Now this is interesting because I hadn’t even thought about it. Considering I haven’t been on a first date yet.. but I, also, assumed the man is supposed to pick up the check. Isn’t that customary?

Having said that, when thinking through a first date, I *would* probably offer to split it. That way, I have an out if the date hasn’t gone too well. Like.. oh I’ll pay my share – if he takes me up on it, I know that things aren’t going any further. If he doesn’t (which is the correct response!!)… then there you have it.

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