Hanssie: In The In Between ~ A Kiss & Tell About The Journey Of A Suddenly Single Gal In Life, Love & Photography »

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That’s What Friends Are For (Let’s Be Friends Part 3)

I match the doors of The Saguaro – my favorite hotel in Scottsdale

With my two braided pigtails swinging behind me, I clutched my mom’s hand as she dropped me off in Mrs. Cook’s class at Calimesa Elementary School. I took in the hustle and bustle around me, the smell of paint, the sounds of children squealing, speaking words that were literally foreign to me. I have just turned five years old the week before and spoke very little English. That little classroom right up next to¬† the parking lot would hold memories from not only my time there as a Kindergartener but almost twenty years later, as I student taught in the very same classroom. One poignant memory was not many weeks after my first day, when we were all instructed to clean out our cubbies. In the very back of my cubby, sat a lone spider. Now, these days, if I see any sort of spider, I would run the other way, screaming, but back then, I was fascinated and showed the girl next to me, who proclaimed the spider hers. I don’t know how a spider in MY cubby would be deemed hers and so I told her so. She pulled my hair, so indignantly, I pulled hers back. She went crying to the teacher and I got a time out.

And that was the beginning of my aversion to having female friends.

In Junior High and High School, I had one female best friend. And we stuck together and did our own thing. But after high school, most of my friends were males. Having female friends was emotionally exhausting and drama filled, there was always back stabbing, tears, gossip and chocolate when a group of more than 3 women were around. So I stayed far away.

After the divorce, I had my female best friend and two close guy friends who were my main support system. It wasn’t until April of this year, when I had a falling out with one of my guy friends, that I understood and fully appreciated the need to have some close girl friends. But you have to find the low maintenance, no drama kind. The girls that continuely say they “Don’t do drama,” usually have drama.

Reasons to have girl friends:

Girl friends understand. They are every bit as emotional as I am and most of my new found girlfriends have experienced everything I’ve experienced –heartbreak, divorce, boys, dating, etc. and so they have lots of real world advice to dole out. Girls also will patiently listen as you rehash every detail of your date, phone call, break up and help you (over)analyze and read into everything a guy says and does. And then listen more and give you a hug when you need to rehash it again. My girlfriends frequently remind me that I’m fabulous and always nod in agreement when I have a “boys suck” moment.

Reasons to have guy friends:

My guy friends are good at listening and giving me logical, unemotional advice. And then telling me to suck it up, stop being a victim, learn from my experience and move on. They never talk behind my back and when they do, I’ve overheard them once or twice, they are raving about what a strong and amazing woman I am. Guy friends are laid back, they are low maintenance and are fun to be around. An added benefit is that having guy friends around prevents creepers from approaching (especially in Vegas), but if needed, they make awesome wingmen as well;)

I’ve said it many times before, but I am so blessed to have the friends that I do. I have an awesome support system of both guys and gals that I wouldn’t trade for the world. They not only encourage me, love me, and carry me, but they put up with me as well. I’m a lucky gal.

Well, I hope you have a fantastic weekend. This is the first weekend since the beginning of May that I have been home! No suitcases packed, no airplanes, car rides, and I’ll be sleeping in my own bed. Oh, and I am going on a first date tonight (WHAT DO I WEAR??!). I’ve already warned him that it’s a possibility he will be blogged about. He says he’s not scared…We’ll see about that.

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Bessst - September 14, 2012 - 10:21 pm

I totally agree ! GOOD LUCK ON UR DATE !!

michelle carrillo - September 14, 2012 - 2:48 pm

I’m glad you have so many fabulous people in your life to keep you somewhat sane! Have a BLAST tonight!!!

Liz - September 14, 2012 - 10:49 am

Wow Hanssie,

I think you also have an aversion to having ugly friends ;-) . All of your friends are GORGEOUS! Congrats on your date, can’t wait to read all about it!

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